Bernie Sanders is not going to be our President. One look at him is enough to tell you that; Americans love a winner, and that is not a role Bernie can play. Then after you hear him yelling, you can doubly forget it. Regardless of all the endless dollars that have poured into his creation, regardless of his fanatical following’s ferocity, Bern is a bust just as much now as he was in 2016. Democrats will come together behind literally anybody else, but we want nothing to do with the Bern. He’s a chickenhawk, scam and aggressive panhandler all rolled into one, like a prestigious university dual major, I can’t wait for the day I stop having to even write his name. I’m sorry the day came when I had to start.

On the other hand, Senator Joseph Bissonette Biden of Delaware, father, former vice-president, and all-around good guy, has the best of all possible chances. He will get a chance to demonstrate tonight once again why he’s in a league of his own when compared to the rest.

Tonight the final Democratic debates of the pre-Iowa caucus season are here, and the only thought on my mind is to protect the primary by any necessary means. We can’t let things get too out of hand or it’ll be 2016 all over again. Bernie, who is either foolish or evil for even running again, since he knows no true Democrat will ever accept him as their Party’s leader, kicked things off in his usual bullying style with a surprisingly vicious attack on his old friend Elizabeth Warren, a fight that has been coming for some time. They are now squabbling like a pair of aged turkeys jostling for feed, the alfalfa pellets that are so reminiscent of neo-progressive voters.

Joe Biden, like Hillary Clinton, knows better than to get deeply involved. Let them have at each other, what a blast. He won’t bother engaging with Bern since nothing good can possibly end up coming out of it. Bern is Murphy’s Law weaponized and given human form. His idea of philosophy is, Anything that can go wrong will go wrong- because as soon as I get the power, it will all be smashed to bloody smithereens by Great Destroyer me! Scourge of the millionaires and billionaires.

We weren’t aware back then, but the Bern is a millionaire too. Jesus God.

After the zoo that has been the last four awful years, the country needs to heal. We have to somehow find a way to cope with and process all that we’ve been through. Not one but two demagogues showed up, Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders, and both shattered tranquility anywhere they could find it. All of us on every side have essentially been living in hell, and need nothing now so much as a little peace of mind and peace and quiet; we’ve been dancing on quicksand all this time. We need the measured, sane leadership of Joe Biden.

There’s no real beginning or end to the list of Bernie’s blunders, models all of gross insensitiveness, inefficiency, and intellect-free decision making. Remember that one time he started ripping up President Obama- whose dirty sweat socks were more capable and well-spoken than the Bern- on Martin Luther King Jr. Day? What a slap in the face of America’s black community that was, the very people that he now begs and cajoles for support. He is an embarrassing liability to every cause he claims somehow to espouse.

We can knock this one out of the park without even mentioning 2016. It has been a long three years with this guy.

How about the time he tried accepting a keynote speaker’s invitation from the foulmouthed and bestial Linda Sarsour, who wants to “take away” the vaginas of other women, to appear at the Women’s Convention of 2017? When American women found out and made their feelings known, Bern backed out so fast you’d have thought he’d seen a ghost. He did the same thing at the Women’s March later that year, with the same result, showing he has no respect for women at all.

This is why his women’s rights record reads like an excerpt from Stag Magazine- on purpose.

Quoth St. Bernard,

“A man goes home and masturbates, to his usual fantasy- A woman tied up, a woman on her knees, a woman abused. A woman enjoys intercourse with her man- as she fantasizes being raped by three men simultaneously.”

“Have you ever looked at the Stag, Man, Hero, Tough magazines on the shelf of your local bookstore? Do you know why the newspaper with the articles like ‘Girl of 12 raped by 14 men’ sell so well? To what in us are they appealing?”

Who are we nominating for president again? Judge Roy Moore of Alabama? It’s clear Bernie knows to what they are appealing, at any rate, and why not? He always has the answers, to everything!

It has really been a long few years.

The first election of the primary season will be the same as it is every year, the Iowa caucus. This year it will be held on February 3; just three short weeks away. It is the first step on the way out of the miniature Dark Ages that terrible 2016 became- but it is not a critical one. Iowan voters have let themselves go haywire good in the past. The Bern’s overperformance there last time empowered and encouraged his tilting at windmills campaign, as did his expected victory in New Hampshire. Hope springs eternal in the human heart, they say, especially when hundreds of millions of dollars were spent to put it there, and for one special moment, they truly believed they could win.

Then the voting down South started, and all that was gone like the mirage of an oasis, Hillary Clinton’s lead became insurmountable instantly, and every week it just got worse. So did the behavior of his followers, who soon displayed the racism and sexism their foul breed is known for, every chance they got. Considering that their master once wrote something like this rape essay here- for fun, I might add, on his leisure time no less, can we really be surprised that not very long from his defeat in July of 2016, one of them put this picture up on the door of a black church?

By Super Tuesday Bern was in dire straits, and within the next few races, it became clear to any sane observer of sense that the jig was really up. His devotees, not yet completely insane prior to April, shrieked and howled at the moon like so many hyenas and wolves, and soon they resolved to bern down anything they couldn’t conquer- which was pretty much everything. Likewise, they made common cause with the Russians and their Macedonian flunkies, like Oliver Mitov here.

As you may have guessed by now, Bernie’s foreign policy has a lot to do with the Russians he was boozing it up with in the video of his honeymoon below, a presidential display if ever there was one. Putin definitely felt the Bern and maybe hopes one day to feel some more of him. This ad he put out on Facebook for the Bern suggests it’s grossly possible.

Buff Bernie, for the love of all creation. You don’t know whether to go blind or-

Well, fill in the blank.

Why someone would have spent his honeymoon in Russia, hanging out with a bunch of men, I do not pretend to know. A sodden intoxication, yowling Woody Guthrie songs with Communists in the Soviet Union, shirtless and disheveled and the most slovenly sight I’ve ever seen.

Judge for yourself.

You’ve got yourself a classic there, Bern. I can’t tell you how much I’m feeling you right now. Perhaps you and Putin and Vitali Shkliarov, another skeevy Ruskie working on your “central to the Russian interference plot” campaign, will all go out a-wassailing next Christmas, or at the next Russian military parade.

You should have been on trial beside Trump’s campaign manager Paul Manafort, Bern, or at least testifying against him like your old campaign manager Tad Devine. You admitted blatantly to having known the Russians were involved in helping you and hurting Hillary Clinton when the whole world knows you sat idle and did not a thing to help.

You knew, Bern. The country was in danger, our electoral process was being used by foreigners as toilet paper, and the whole world was laughing at us. You are supposed to be our next commander-in-chief, which means it’s your job to protect this country, all of it. But you said nothing. Then later, in that interview, you lied on TV and said you lot had sent warning specifically; that was nothing but a joke from our perspective, the people who stayed to nail things down when your lunatic band of foreign and robotic Merry Men summoned a tornado down on us all. Just so we understand each other, you are nothing but a traitor. And your brat supporters false-reported the tweet offline.

Why have we been saddled with this moldy albatross around our necks, O Lord? Take this cup from us-please!

Any examination of Bernie’s record reveals him as a fraud. He boasts that he is not a Democrat and is brazenly appallingly proud of it. He voted against the Brady Bill five times. He once shoved his wife out of the way, on a stage in front of a crowd, at a campaign event because she talked for too long. “Don’t stand next to me!” he shouted at her like an animal.  He was the most libertarian candidate in the 2016 race. His campaign had more than a dozen Federal Election Commission violations. His foreign policy talk about Iraq is misleading since he had nothing to lose by voting no and since his record is full of other hawkishness, including fervent support of the Serbian bombings of Kosovo he reviled Hillary Clinton for. The big problem we had in 2016 is that no one bothered to vet Bernie much because he was such a weak candidate, he should have just collapsed like MoveOn.org’s other pick, Martin O’Malley. We didn’t know who or what we were up against last time. Now we do.

And we do not intend on forgetting.

With thanks to Alternet for the writing and the data.

The attack on Kosovo is hardly the extent of Sanders’ hawkishness.
While it’s true he voted against the Iraq war, he voted in favor of
authorizing funds for that war and the one in Afghanistan. More
recently, he voted in favor of a $1 billion aid package for the coup
government in Ukraine and supported Israel’s assault on Gaza. At a
town hall meeting he admitted that Israel may have “overreacted,” but
he blamed Hamas for the entire conflict. When an audience member asked
why he refused to condemn Israel’s actions, he told critics: “Excuse
me! Shut up! You don’t have the microphone.”

Hey, Bern! Why didn’t you condemn Russia’s actions? Remember all those times you refused to vote to sanction them? Disgusting. This old failure has passed three bills in three decades, folks, and two of them were for renaming local post offices. Talk about spunk and American initiative, boy. What a hard worker he is, this man who never had a job at all until age thirty-seven. How people figured a guy who’d spent half his life in the Congress was a political outsider back then I will never understand.

Foreign policy is an area in which the Biden/Bernie gap becomes a chasm, a gaping abyss. The ancient Norse Vikings believed that all life on Earth arose from a massive Gap of Gaps, from which poisonous fumes rose like socialism and somehow created all we have. Go figure. Anyway, a gap that size is the one we’re talking about here. When it comes time to talk about fitness for the task of representing us well in the world, these two guys Biden and Bern are a ludicrous comparison to make. It’s like comparing apples to dog turds. They might as well be on different planets. We’ve got to stay focused on that and make sure everyone else does too.

By this point, parties on all sides are well aware the next six months promise a circus beyond anything P.T. Barnum ever dreamed of.

America doesn’t require or desire a return to what former President Warren G. Harding once called “a return to normalcy”, because what is normal in today’s world is a freakish caricature of what it meant thirty years ago when we were kids. Professional wrestling spilled out of our television sets and took over the world. Everything seems like a skit now, and Bernie is the perfect Heel to Trump’s Hero. Normal is probably out.

But we can have sane and decent again. Joe Biden is not a crazy socialist with a fifty trillion-dollar health care time bomb ready to set off in our economy. He knows what he’s doing in there. We have gone through too much in the Trump era for any more shenanigans from a demagogue, and we need someone capable enough to clean this whole mess up. We, center Democrats, have held the line; we became that rock in the river, tethered to a principle, and ready with a plan at every turn. These days Joe is the best representative we’ve got, which is the other half of the reasons to reject the candidacy of ridiculous and rusty Bernie Sanders.

We simply do not need the guy. Go back to writing op-eds about Saturday mail delivery, Bern, like back in 2014- when you were suddenly rebranded and made a superstar, seemingly at random…

More on that in future articles. Count on it.

In conclusion, it is not only Bernie’s incompetence and unfitness for the role that ensures he never will be President. We’ve got a better guy, one who is more popular, more polished, more professional, and just plain superior to the Bern even when he’s at his abysmal best. Joe Biden was the most recent vice-president Democrats have had, and under Barack Obama, no less, who turned out to be a genius. He has the information and skill that this will take. His unpleasant Gollum-like opponent is just plain lacking by comparison- and objectively.

While Bern was renaming post offices and little else, lounging around the Senate like the white Clarence Thomas, Biden was all over the world handling American affairs and representing her people with the utmost decorum and skill. Can he speak like John F. Kennedy? No. But that makes him all the more perfect for this time and place, in which nothing is more needed than a plainspoken, honest sort of fellow, the one your guts tell you you can trust- a No Malarkey sort if you will (check that awesome Group out on Facebook). Biden is a kind and genuine man, a finder of lost children. Bernie is the guy to lead us farther out into the wilderness. That old zombie will never, ever, EVER be the President of America, and for that, we really can be grateful.

From Millennial Democrats, starting today, look for All Biden, All The Time, until Iowa and beyond. We are in it to win it, and the day to fight in earnest together has come. You can find us without too much trouble at @MilDemsAmerica on Twitter. On Facebook, we’re Millennial Democrats- America and her fifty auxiliary State Pages. Our parent organization Organizing For Democrats has a great many Groups and Pages also, and allied organizations in the family such as the good folks at the WIRAPress Files, links shown here in blue, or the Musing Madman’s Madhouse, a blog living right next door to this one, so to speak, or talkingbarrysense.wordpress.com for another. Last, we’re newly on Instagram at millennialdemsusa. Check us out. And check out Joe Biden, while you’re at it.

I vouch for him.