Cohen Sentenced, End In Sight For Trump Era. To You In The Alt-Right, Get Out In Time.

Former fixer to the illegitimate 45th president of America Michael Cohen was sentenced to three years in prison this morning. He has now joined the ranks of Paul Manafort and Rick Gates, other major figures in the Trump 2016 campaign who turned out to be felons. Cohen, to his credit, took full public accountability during his sentencing, and will now go serve three years in prison. While he is there, he will have plenty of time to reflect on the errors of his ways. We wish him the best in regaining his soul and changing his life, and we thank him for thoroughly implicating Donald Trump.

But don’t feel too sorry for him! HA!

This tweet may have aged more poorly than any tweet in human history pic.twitter.com/dojbUoVWpz— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) December 12, 2018

According to Cohen’s lawyer, Lanny Davis, after the Robert Mueller investigation wraps up, Cohen wants “to state publicly all he knows about Mr. Trump. And that includes any appropriate congressional committee interested in the search for truth and the difference between facts and lies.”

That is a clear reference to the Blue Wave that led to the Democratic retaking of the House, and the investigative committees that have already been formed. We are about to take off on the lousy bum in the White House, is what that means, and Cohen threw us the lob ball. It’s just floating there now, up in the sky. The end is coming soon for the most crooked presidential administration in the history of the country.

Cohen’s sentencing is big, but far bigger was the effect of Mueller releasing his sentencing memo for Michael Flynn last week. This came to us heavily redacted, meaning they didn’t want the public to see a good chunk of it. But one key piece of data was conspicuously left hanging out all over the place. Trump’s transition team was in up to their necks in Flynn’s illegal Russia dealings. Cohen was right there in the mix, fixing for the Russian-financed Trump.

In the midst of it all, Trump still thinks he’s getting his wall. Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer cashed him for his “petulant tantrum.” Everyone laughed, just like when Pence’s chief of staff publicly turned him down to replace the dearly departing John Kelly and dissed him by refusing the job via Twitter. He’s become an even bigger joke than he used to be, but I’d bet anything his bosses aren’t laughing anymore.

This is about to backfire horribly on Russia. Former spy and National Rifle Association enthusiast Maria Butina just signed a plea deal. She used to be their lady, until American justice caught her, broke her in the hole, and turned her into an American asset. The Russian people will soon realize two things: that Vladimir Putin can’t protect them, and that Putin can’t protect himself. He’s old. He’ll soon be gone. And so will Donald Trump. They had better find a way to get rid of him.

Next, we would like to address any of you out there who might chance across this article who used to go around wearing those stupid red MAGA hats, who put those signs of his up in your yard, wore his buttons and T-shirts around, et cetera. Change sides before it is too late. As Gandalf said to Saruman, “You have been deep in the counsels of the enemy. There is much good you could still do.”

Learn from Michael Cohen and Maria Butina. Realize you’ve been played by a corrupt mobster dictator who hates the United States and wants to enrich Russia at our expense, to the global detriment of everyone. Understand in time that Trump was not who you hoped he was, and that he did not really share your conservative values. He is a debauched, corrupt old businessman from New York City. Since when has Middle America allowed itself to be taken in by the likes of that? Aren’t you sick of it yet? If you don’t want to find yourselves in a hole too deep to dig free of, you had better come back around and help us out while there’s still time.

This brings us to our next point- If you are a former member of the alt-right, or the alt-left for that matter, who has seen the error of your ways and want to come around and help the cause, write in to us! You may have been young two years ago, and youthful errors are not unique to you. But pretty soon you won’t be. You’ll just be old, alone, and in trouble. 
The alt-right is a shadow of its former self. Your leaders have taken your money and abandoned you, and were never real leaders to begin with. Take Richard Spencer, for example. According to our sources from within your organizations, that guy is a predator known for seducing the wives of all his comrades. He beats his own wife, according to her. You think he cares about you? That little psychopath James Fields had no one’s support except his mother’s when he got sentenced to life in prison recently for murdering Heather Heyer at Charlottesville last year. Your hero, “Baked Alaska”- His comments on the subject involved profanity, the word “murderer”, and “I’m out by the pool.”

Anything you’ve got that might be helpful, any information on what the alt-right leadership is doing or where they are doing it or who they are doing it to. Send it in to us, and we’ll publish it. Anything that has to be turned over to higher authorities will be, but you will be kept anonymous so long as you’re not confessing to any crimes. You have our word. 

All of us who were raised here in America know who the ultimate enemy was growing up. The Russians! Our fathers and our grandfathers who fought in World War Two, Vietnam, and Korea, would be horrified at what has happened here. Now that you have been forced to see, by Republican Robert Mueller, that Donald Trump really was a stooge for Putin, please come back to reason. You are being called upon to come back around and save your country. They’ve got malware in our power grids. This is not a game.

You guys should work together with us to make America greater, we at Millennial Democrats are with you! We don’t believe it ever stopped being great, and we sure aren’t with the socialists who say it is broken and ought to be discarded! We are in this together, and we ought to find some way to come to terms.

If you help us now, Fate will reward you, and Providence will receive you. Be good Americans at this moment of greatest need, and that is how you will be remembered when all this is over. Good people, who made a mistake, took accountability and learned from it on the way to doing what their country needed from them. Get out in time!

Don’t drag this out to the bitter end.